To The Working Mama…

To the working mama who wants to be a stay at home mama… I see you. I am you.

From the minute they placed that tiny bundle of joy in my arms on October 26th my world was forever changed. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be a stay at home mom until she was old enough to attend school.

But here I am… lunch time at my grueling corporate job. I wake up at 5am every morning to prepare to be at the morning board meeting by 7am  Armed in my business suit, with coffee in hand.

I don’t want to be that women, I do not want to be a part of an international corporation. I want to be a mom and a wife and that is it but our finances won’t allow for that. Unfortunately there are far too few articles and blogs addressing this. I know there are more than just 4 or 5 of us working mamas that would rather be at home with our babies but are forced to work.

I have no tips or advice on how to become a stay at home mama because I am still trying to figure that out myself. I even wrote a mock resignation letter today that I won’t be submitting anytime soon.

I have fought depression and anxiety since returning to work that is starting to take a toll on my health and even my marriage.

In a conversation with some clients this morning I started crying… the topic of discussion was “what type of mom do you want to be?” this really got me thinking. I want to be the type of mom I needed when I was a little girl. Don’t get me wrong I love my mom dearly, but we had a rocky relationship for along time. I needed a mom that was present and not working 16hrs a day. My mom was a single mom who worked her butt off to give me everything she could and she taught me to be an independent women, not to rely on anybody for anything.

But I am not a single mom. I am a married mom who has a wonderful husband. I want to be there for every milestone with my daughter. I want to do fun outings to the library and the park, to spend as much time with her as I possible can building a bond that cannot be broken. I want to be more than just the person that makes the milk.

It breaks my heart that if given the choice she reaches for my mother in law her has her while I am at work.

We as working mamas need to figure out how to be home with our babies. We need to break the stigma that this generation has been placed in that all women must work now. There is not a damn thing wrong with aspiring to be a stay at home mom like our grandparents were.

 

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