To The Working Mama…

To the working mama who wants to be a stay at home mama… I see you. I am you.

From the minute they placed that tiny bundle of joy in my arms on October 26th my world was forever changed. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be a stay at home mom until she was old enough to attend school.

But here I am… lunch time at my grueling corporate job. I wake up at 5am every morning to prepare to be at the morning board meeting by 7am  Armed in my business suit, with coffee in hand.

I don’t want to be that women, I do not want to be a part of an international corporation. I want to be a mom and a wife and that is it but our finances won’t allow for that. Unfortunately there are far too few articles and blogs addressing this. I know there are more than just 4 or 5 of us working mamas that would rather be at home with our babies but are forced to work.

I have no tips or advice on how to become a stay at home mama because I am still trying to figure that out myself. I even wrote a mock resignation letter today that I won’t be submitting anytime soon.

I have fought depression and anxiety since returning to work that is starting to take a toll on my health and even my marriage.

In a conversation with some clients this morning I started crying… the topic of discussion was “what type of mom do you want to be?” this really got me thinking. I want to be the type of mom I needed when I was a little girl. Don’t get me wrong I love my mom dearly, but we had a rocky relationship for along time. I needed a mom that was present and not working 16hrs a day. My mom was a single mom who worked her butt off to give me everything she could and she taught me to be an independent women, not to rely on anybody for anything.

But I am not a single mom. I am a married mom who has a wonderful husband. I want to be there for every milestone with my daughter. I want to do fun outings to the library and the park, to spend as much time with her as I possible can building a bond that cannot be broken. I want to be more than just the person that makes the milk.

It breaks my heart that if given the choice she reaches for my mother in law her has her while I am at work.

We as working mamas need to figure out how to be home with our babies. We need to break the stigma that this generation has been placed in that all women must work now. There is not a damn thing wrong with aspiring to be a stay at home mom like our grandparents were.

 

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2017…

As you all know, my car was totaled in December and we are down to just my husbands car. Well as of 2 days ago, his car breaks (no car wreck or anything, just older and needs some tlc). On the same day, EKU informs me that instead of owing $300, I owe $3000.

It has been a rough start. So I will not be returning to school this semester, going to try for next semester.

Now the Truck Hunt begins! I refuse to own another car. We are checking every car lot within a 100mile radius to try and find a vehicle for me. It must be a 4 door, 4×4 truck. Oh, and I have no cash for a down payment.

We have yet to figure out how much it will cost to get the hubby’s car fixed.

The final step is to start paying EKU 😦

 

Baby Steps.

It really sucks when you start to think you are ahead in life and then get knocked back 1500 steps.

Here is a link to our wedding registry which I reopened so people could possibly help us get a vehicle without having to go through gofundme.

https://www.zola.com/registry/emilyandcolbert

 

Budgets are the Devil

 

How many of us have created a budget and failed miserably to stick to it? I know I have!

I did away with our budget, it is the devil! It does nothing but make you feel like a failure!

Here is how our finances work:

The husband and I both make around about the same amount give or take a few thousand a year.

Monthly:

Husband: Rent

Myself: Electric (which we cut in half by not using our central heat and using space heaters), water, Internet, and groceries.

It may seem like I am paying more but really the total amount is about equal.

As you can see, we know what we are going to pay but its not on paper. It is not labeled a budget. We decided what to do with the extra money left over. I might deposit mine into my 401k and he might do early christmas shopping or vice versa. We DO NOT have rules on what we are allowed to do with the extra left over after bills.

If we budgeted every dollar we would fail and become discouraged. By not budgeting, as long as the bills are getting paid it is an accomplishment and we are staying on track. There is no failure or discouragement because we have met our goal for the month.

Bye Bye 2016

2016…. it was well eventful in good and bad ways. It started wonderful

I married my best friend (great)

Both got new jobs (great)

Got re-accepted to college (great)

Totaled my car (bad)

Financial struggle (bad)

2017…. you are going to be amazing. I didn’t make a resolution because I never keep them. Frankly I forgot what my 2016 one was.

In 2017…

Our 1 year anniversary

Our first family vacation

Nathan turns 16!

I go back to school!

I vow to get away from financial struggle.