20 Week Bump

Baby update:

Name: Elena Antoinette Gautreaux

Currently 21 weeks 2 days!

10.5in long

Approx weight 1lb

I kick mommy a lot!! All day long!

I love loud music and when mommy dances it’s the only way I’ll stop kicking so hard.

I have been head down and as low as I can be since I was conceived.

Mommy update:

Weight gain: 6lbs to date

Complications: low lying placenta, Already in full blown lactation mode!

No cravings! I love fresh fruit and fresh veggies though.

Summer pregnancy is rough y’all! I have to wear a black business suit and stand for 8hrs a day. Let me tell you… not fun!

Colbert has been absolutely amazing through my whole pregnancy, constant foot rubs, massages, encouragement, surprise treats and suggested naps when he knows I need one etc.

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Budgets are the Devil

 

How many of us have created a budget and failed miserably to stick to it? I know I have!

I did away with our budget, it is the devil! It does nothing but make you feel like a failure!

Here is how our finances work:

The husband and I both make around about the same amount give or take a few thousand a year.

Monthly:

Husband: Rent

Myself: Electric (which we cut in half by not using our central heat and using space heaters), water, Internet, and groceries.

It may seem like I am paying more but really the total amount is about equal.

As you can see, we know what we are going to pay but its not on paper. It is not labeled a budget. We decided what to do with the extra money left over. I might deposit mine into my 401k and he might do early christmas shopping or vice versa. We DO NOT have rules on what we are allowed to do with the extra left over after bills.

If we budgeted every dollar we would fail and become discouraged. By not budgeting, as long as the bills are getting paid it is an accomplishment and we are staying on track. There is no failure or discouragement because we have met our goal for the month.

Christmas Eve…Self Care

Today is Christmas Eve….I am at work until 3pm…..my thoughts? Oh well, lets make some money. There is no reason for me to be upset about having to work today, we don’t get my youngest till this evening late anyway.

Self Care is my plan for the day.  I decided this when I arrived at work after being a nervous wreck on the interstate (pouring the rain, new rental car). I was panicky, and tense by 7am….whats wrong with me? I am alive and it is Christmas Eve, I should be thankful.

My plan for today:

  • Listen to Beach Vibes radio on Spotify
  • Leave work about 3pm
  • Swing by the Dollar Tree and find the last stocking stuffers I need for the husband
  • Tidy up the house
  • Wrap Presents
  • Take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine
  • Attend Christmas Eve high mass
  • Pick up my youngest

Yesterday my husband told me, he felt distant because of how tense we had both been…. I want this to change. Christmas should not be a tense time for couples but for your average every day couple it is. We are all struggling. We must all remember you cannot pour from an empty cup.

If anybody is like me, I do not know how to relax. My mind does not stop. This ends today.

I will take time to myself. I will relax and let the things that are out of my control be. I do not want to be tense on Christmas day. I will take time to take care of myself this evening and finish up last minute things while dancing around the house with my husband and son.

Well Here We Are

Well here we are. It has been 9 days since my last blog post. I do apologize, there has been a lot going on and stress levels are high.

It has been interesting only having one car. We are making progress with our claim though and got a rental car 2 days ago.

Mom #1 is also causing some issues with my oldest. There is some emotional baggage and mental issues that she is projecting on him. She has told him that she wants nothing to do with him and that my husband and I are bad influences. This is causing him a great deal of distress, is causing him to be distracted in school and caused him to loose his girlfriend. Keep in mind he has lived with us for the past 7-8 years with minimal contact with her.

I was selected for verification through EKU, so now I am fighting to get tax transcripts in and submitted in time. Most of the classes I need to take are full so I am still struggling to get into the correct classes. This is becoming a long drawn out process but the end result will be worth it.

Well that’s an update on life as of right now.

 

P.S 4 days to Christmas and the shopping still isn’t done!

I am a Step-Mom

Why is the word step mom have such a bad feeling attached to it? Why has everybody started calling step moms bonus moms?

I am a proud STEPMOM to two wonderful kids from two different women. This makes my situation very unique, I also have no biological children of my own. These are my children and I love them as such. They are not my bonus kids because I have no children of my own for them to be a bonus to.

Mom 1 is in and out, my eldest lives with us and I have been around for all of middle school and high school to this point. Every sports game, every academic function, every heartbreak, sickness, bad day, good day, everything.

Mom 2 is very much in the picture, we only get my youngest on the weekend. I have been around for almost half her life. We try and be at every event and birthday. But we also miss crucial moments because she does not live with us.

My relationship with each child is unique. To my youngest I could be consider a bonus mom, but personally I like the term step mom better. I feel as though in this day and age bonus mom is a term I would use to refer to a lesbian couple who have adopted.

To my eldest I am simpley becoming mom.

They are not a bonus. They are my kids. My only kids.